10 BIG Questions to Ask Before Wedding Planning
After getting engaged (congratulations!), it can be really easy to feel like the wedding planning freight train is off and running.
Wedding Planning Questions
After getting engaged (congratulations!), it can be really easy to feel like the wedding planning freight train is off and running. There’s so much to do, so much to check off on the wedding planning checklist, so many people to contact.
Take a deep breath. One of the best things couples can do is to sit down and have a conversation before jumping on the wedding planning train. This conversation is your chance to get on the same page and find out what both of you want on your big day. Think of it as a fun quiz with an important twist: answers that can shape every part of your wedding planning.
Where do we want to get married?
To be clear, you don’t have to know the exact location. This question is the start of talking through your choices, such as a hometown, college town, or favorite destination, and voice any specific wishes (i.e. church, garden, etc.) The answer to your question—even just choosing a city—can help you search for wedding venues in your favorite area.
What time of year do we want to get married? What season/month works with our schedule? Are there any dates that are special to us?
Again, you don’t have to settle on an exact date—but if you do, that works too! There are two general approaches to setting a wedding date:
- Set an exact date and use it to narrow down venue choices. When you contact wedding venues, ask if the venue is available on that exact date. If it’s not, cross it off the list. If it is, continue asking the wedding venue these important questions.
- Select a season/month and ask venues for available dates. Make a list of possible wedding venues based on location and style. Contact each venue with your list of wedding venue questions, including what dates during a season or month are available. Your wedding date is the day available at your favorite venue.
What is our style?
This question plays directly into almost every detail of your wedding—especially the most important, the wedding venue. The wedding venue is the biggest part of your wedding, playing a large role into your guests’ first impression and setting the foundation for every other detail.
Are you a couple who loves history (and historical wedding venues)? Would you prefer an elegant venue with spectacular architectural details? Do you both love the thought of a country venue with rustic details? Would you like to highlight the style of your favorite city with an urban venue?
What is our budget?
A budget is a vital part of the wedding planning process, both for minimizing headaches and as a factor when setting wedding details. Set a wedding budget with your fiancé together. If any friends or family have expressed an interest in contributing, now is the time to ask them if they are still interested and for financial details. Make sure your conversations are very clear so everyone is on the same page. Generic statements like, “I’ll pay for the food” without setting an amount can lead to drama later.
Do we want a big celebration or a smaller, more intimate wedding? How big is our guest list?
Your initial guest count doesn’t have to be exact, but an estimate is invaluable as you plan. Key wedding vendors need the information, such as the wedding venue and caterer. Decide with your fiancé if you want to host a big celebration or a smaller and more intimate affair. As you draft an estimated guest list, don’t forget to include your parents and other people important to you in the process. (Use these tips for setting a guest list.)
Is there anything you really want at our wedding? Do we have any special needs?
Notice the difference between the two questions: you and we. Now is the time to find out if either of you have any specific requests for your wedding day (no matter how big or small). Are there any wedding details that are really important to you? Is there a wedding vendor that either of you really have to have?
Then switch modes from ‘you’ to ‘we.’ Decide on any special needs you may have, such as handicap access at the wedding venue for a special guest or a dietary need for the wedding cuisine. Discussing those details now can make the decisions for wedding venues and vendors easier. Make sure to include questions about the specific need in your wedding vendor interview list.